I Will Be Fine
by Utsaah
Summary: "I'm fine." Was the normal response Arthur got from Merlin. So Arthur knew that there was something wrong when the reply he got from Merlin was something else than that. (warning: suicide attempt)


**Warnings: suicide attempt**

_Just some feelings I had to get out of my system. I'm sorry I used Merlin and Arthur for it. (and sorry for any spelling mistakes, but I could care less about them now)._

* * *

The strange look his peers gave him, the air rushing past his ears as he ran through the hallways, the stitch in his side, Arthur ignored everything. He just wanted to be at his and his best friend's shared dorm room as soon as possible. His senses were heightened and the voice in his head becoming louder and louder that something was wrong.

Why did he had to leave, _why_! Just because Leon texted him, just because he wanted to spend time even when he knew Merlin was dealing with some heavy stuff. The death of his mother last month, was a total crash in Merlin's life and Arthur hadn't seen his always smiling friend so miserable for the last month. He wasn't eating, barely slept and kept himself confined in their dorm room, even when Arthur and all his friends were trying their best to get him at least out of the room. They weren't succeeding though.

And now, just five minutes ago, Arthur received the most worried some text reply ever after he send one to ask Merlin how he was.

_I will be fine_.

To anyone else, this text would seem like a totally normal reply, but to Arthur there was everything wrong to it. It wasn't Merlin's normal reaction 'I'm fine'. No it was I _will_ _be_ fine. The 'will be' was total gnawing on him ever since he read it and he couldn't be on his feet faster than he did, leaving his and Merlin's friends behind with some confused expressions etched on their face.

He finally reached the right corridor, already the words _your too late_ were forming in his mind, but he shook his head. He couldn't be thinking that, not right now. Finally getting to his door, the door that kept so many memories, was almost enough to breathe a sigh of relieve, but Arthur was not yet convinced.

Turning on the doorknob, he quickly learned that it was close and he slammed his palm flat and hard against it.

"Merlin!"

Another bang on the door, but no reply. Arthur pressed his ear against the cold wood, his hands fumbling inside his pockets in the search of the damn key and it took him a few times to retrieve the silver key out of his back pocket. His hands were shaking too much and he kept trying to insert the key, willing the tremors to stop. Willing himself to stop and take a deep breath.

The key slid right in and the click that should accompany the turn of the metal soon followed and Arthur all but fell into his dorm,. It was mostly pitch dark, just a single desk lamp was the only source of light and Arthur's eye fell on an empty painkiller bottle with a white rectangular shape leaning against it. An envelope. _Arthur_, it said.

"No." Arthur whispered and then he could hear water, spattering on the tiles in their shared bathroom. Arthur saw streaks of light coming from under the bathroom door and within a second he found himself pulling and turning the doorknob, banging on the door when it didn't budge.

"Merlin!" Arthur yelled for the second time in a short while. "Merlin, open this goddamn door!" He yelled, but he knew it would be fruitless. He just knew in the back of his mind what Merlin did, but he refused to believe it until he saw it with his own eyes. He started banging with his fist and kicking like a madmen against the wooden door until cracks started to form and Arthur shouted out his frustrations, making his fellow students curiously peer inside his dorm.

One final kick made the door fly open and water met him when he entered, the source of it being the overflowed tub and the dark clothed unmoving figure with his face down in the middle of it, prominent in the otherwise all white bathroom. Arthur's breath hitched, tears sprang into the corners of his eyes and his feet moving themselves quickly and his arms grabbing and pulling his friend… his best friend, over the edge of the tub and falling down on the wet tiled floor with Merlin in his arms, not moving, not breathing and unresponsive.

"NO!" Arthur roared and gasps from just outside the door were vaguely registered by him, just like the persons frantically screaming into their phones for an ambulance. Arthur didn't spend a glance at them, just held the lithe figure tightly in his arms rocking him slightly as Merlin hung in his arms like a broken ragdoll. He couldn't be too late to save his friend, he just couldn't! and finally his dazed mind started to work and he started to lay Merlin down on the cold floor and started to pound on Merlin's chest, frustration, sadness, sorrow. Every emotion floated to the surface, and he kept on pounding, fist after fist on his chest… but nothing happened. He was too late, Merlin was gone.

One final pounding full of frustrations and angriness landed on Merlin's chest before Arthur sprawled himself over his best friends torso, his arms blindly finding Merlin's head and he held on for his dear life. The tears fell freely, no matter how many onlookers had gathered in the meantime, he didn't care. There was complete silence, just the small sobs of Arthur floating through the air.

Until… a gurgling sound emerged from under Arthur.


End file.
